As we say our fond farewells to the year that was 2010, we here at Hi-Lo [Sacramento] want to take a look back at those things that both brought a smile to our faces and irked the living shit out of us here in The City of Parking Lots. This list of 10 represents those things that we feel both excels and falls-short in making Sacramento the place it should be, shouldn't be and ultimately is. Please then to be enjoying the first annual Hi-Lo [Sacramento] Kvetchfest!
Okay, I really hate to sound all "Get off my lawn!" here, but seriously; leaves in the few scant parking spots Sacramento's urban midtown and downtown areas have to offer is one of the most annoyingly consistent traits this town has. There is nothing more aggravating than thinking you've found a prime parking spot in front of your place and then discovering that some one's pile of lawn refuse has beaten you to it. I mean, how hard is it to take your leaves, lawn clippings and empty Cheetos bags down to either end of the block? C'mon! Now if you'll excuse me, Matlock is on.
You know, compared to Los Angeles' burgeoning bicycle community having a tenuous relationship with irate motorists, or San Francisco where gawking, attention-deprived tourists sideswipe pedal-pushers with their rental cars, Sacramento's cycling scene is actually pretty great. Events like the annual Tweed Ride, Sac Cycle Chic's blog posts, the non-profit Sacramento Bicycle Kitchen, SABA, an abundance of bicycle lanes, top-notch shops, and even (for the most part) courteous and careful motorists make Sacramento a fairly great city to ride a bicycle in.
Beige buildings are boring. They show a complete lack of imagination on the part of the owners and the occupants of these bland-looking structures. Seeing as how this trend has splashed itself onto so many of Sacramento's edifices like so much trend-hopping diarrhea, the thinking here must be that buildings painted some variance of beige must not only be calming, but "classy" as well. Oh, and a total fuckin' snore, to boot! You live in Northern California, my fellow Sacramentans; not Arizona or New Mexico. Now go study a Pantone swatch book and give this place some color and vitality, will ya?
Oh my gawd! Oh my gawd!! Oh. My. Gawd!!! Temple's aptly named Bliss has to be one of the most truly great things this town can honestly lay claim to. Perfect on cold days (but still remarkable in any seasonal climate, really), The Bliss combines hot peppermint tea, soy milk, coconut milk, and honey into one of the most amazingly spledid elixir's that there ever was. If and when you move away from Sacramento, The Bliss may be the one thing - which you can find anywhere else, mind you - that just might bring you back.
If you habitually ride your bike on the sidewalk - treating said sidewalk as if it were your own private bicycling freeway, say - then you are a complete and total asshole with zero regard for your fellow pedestrian's safety or well-being. If you are on a busy street that does not have bike lanes and you feel that you cannot contend with the cars whizzing by you, turn down towards one of the many side streets that do have lanes specifically for bicycles instead of mounting the sidewalk. There are plenty of bike lanes in Midtown and Downtown Sacramento; most of them on much less busy streets (this isn't a very hectic town, mind you). Use these streets and the bike lanes they are on, or simply walk your bike! It's that easy, and far less rude.
Man, Sacramento has come a long way since the Groove Dawg & The Funk Thangs'-centric 1990's. Sea Of Bees, Ganglians, Zach Hill, and Sister Crayon are getting national coverage, while ex-pats like Agent Ribbons and Chelsea Wolfe are getting approving nods in magazine and airplay on teen vampire shows. G. Green, The Four Eyes, Knock Knock, English Singles, Charles Albright, Buk Buk Bigups, Dead Western, and a host of others are crafting a sound that will make the rest of the world regret sleeping on Sac for as long as they have.
Yeah, Sacramento loves to call itself the "City of Trees," but I'm beginning to think that this town has more urban, street-level parking lots than it does California Sycamores. Considering the suburban sprawl circling this town like a soulless smoke ring, you'd think some enterprising building companies would clue-in to all the potential fill-in lots and actually make this burg feel like a city. But no. Instead we get asphalt eyesores that remain mostly empty, even during the work week. Every block seems to have a parking lot. Sometimes two or three butt-up next to each other. Building. Building. Parking lot. Building. Parking lot ...Parking lot! Just sad, really.
Given the economic climate these days, no wonder craft culture has taken hold the way it has. Quality craft items made by dedicated hands? Certainly beats the store-bought shit that will eventually be littering our freeways and landfills. Sacramento isn't slacking on it's end in regard to being crafty. Craft companies like Bows And Sparrows, Citizen Rosebud, Juniper James, The Sacramento Craft Mafia, and host of other can be found both at local craft sales events and on Etsy, and bring a sense of style, elegance and individuality you will never, ever find at Nordstrom's or your local Mall Wart.
RANT: "World Class City"In order to be a "World Class City," you gotta give people world class things to see and do. Mermaid titty bars for the over-40 set is not "world class." Arcade Fire playing your town is. And if you can't figure this one out, than you will forever remain "classy" - and not sophisticated. Sacramento had the potential to possibly be a "World Class City," but then in the late-60's and early 70's most of the historic buildings that could have given Sacramento a better sense of distinction, grandeur and (this is key) identity were razed in a mad frenzy to impress suburban mall zombies. "World Class Fuck-up" is more like it.
"Keep Midtown Janky!" It's not simply a motto for some here in the River City; it's a way of accepting, embracing and celebrating Sacramento's kitschy novelties (dive bars are still a huge draw here). Sacramento may shutdown by 9pm, get snubbed by most touring bands and be over-run with big boy Tonka toy trucks, but it's the community spirit of those denizens living and breathing the janky grind that are the true lifeblood of this ragged little burg. And no "classy" ultra lounge, beach-themed deli or stretch prom Hummer hogging our cramped streets is going to change that. Businesses like Old Soul Roasters, Pedal Hard, The Hub, The Verge, Phono Select, and Cuffs (to name but a very few) see to our needs (Read: "wants."), while Undietacos, KDVS 90.3 FM and Midtown Monthly (info outlets by the community, for the community) keeps everyone in-the-know on the everyday goings-on (movies, music, art, awesome shows coming up, etc.) Sacramento may a small town, but it's all we got. And we're making the most of our lot just fine.
Hey! I need to get you on a better reader, like Bloglovin' or NetworkedBlogs, but I saw there was a new post, and am/was pleasantly surprise to see my name in a list of your raves! Whoots! GREAT post, as there is so much to be stoked about our fair city, and so little to be "world classed" about. Happy New Year. Here's to a Janky 2011. -Bella Q
ReplyDeletehttp://thecitizenrosebud.com
Just start carrying a leaf-blower in your car...shoot 'em right back up into the yard.
ReplyDeleteThere's some funny stuff here.