Saturday, May 21, 2011

Stay Classy, Sacramento!

The following letter appeared in the May 12th issue of the Sacramento News & Review. Our good friend Clark Nova penned this response, but it was not printed in the following issue of the SN&R, so we printed it here on our blog instead.

'njoy!
 

Food trucks = who cares?

Re “What the truck?!” by Nick Miller (SN&R Feature, April 28):

     When I go out to eat, I want to be greeted by a host or hostess, who takes me to a booth or table, where I am served by a waiter or waitress. I want comfort and class. Remember class?
     Food trucks are a part of Mexico’s poverty culture, and they have no place in America. If you want to eat out of a food truck, go to Mexico. This current fascination with food trucks is just a fad among knee-jerk liberals. Anyone who wants to stand in line for an hour to eat out of a truck is moronic. But, hey, look around at California politics and California culture. We’re the premier state of American Moronic—or, as Green Day once put it, American Idiots.
   Who cares what they do in Portland, Oregon? I’ve been to Portland on numerous occasions, and their line of food trucks in their downtown area is an embarrassing eyesore. I wouldn’t eat there for free. The Sacramento City Council should ban food trucks outright before Sacramento starts looking like Stockton, Fresno or, God help us, Mexico itself. Sacramento is either going to strive to become a world-class city, or it’s going to embrace the trashy, Third World ambience of food trucks.

Bon appétit, Portland.

Daniel McMasters
Sacramento

* * *
RE: “Food trucks = who cares?” (Letters, May 12, 2011)

     While it may fill him with a certain sense of perverse glee to see his name in print as a reaction to the ignorant tripe he spewed onto the Letters section of last week’s SN&R, I still feel compelled let Daniel McMasters know that he is a fuckin’ moron - on so, so many levels.
     Where to begin?
     “Food trucks are part of Mexico’s poverty culture…”? On what factual source - that isn’t a miniature Glenn Beck inside his head - is Mr. McDonald’s basing this conclusion? Knee-jerk neo-conservatism? Wikiracist.com? His own ass, perhaps?  Needless to say, Mr. McMuffin’s’ naïve, dim-witted rhetoric is downright offensive, if not utterly bizarre. That he equates food trucks to “poverty culture” in Mexico is almost as perplexing as his need to publicly out himself as the ignorant racist twerp he is. Regardless, I’m guessing the only Mexican restaurant Mr. McDouble eats at is Taco Bell.
     Perhaps Mr. McFlurry missed this little festival we had down here at the beginning of the month called Sac MoFo. You know, the event that highlighted the popularity of food trucks and people’s desires to patronize them. Had he attended this event, Mr. McNugget would have noted that the food trucks in attendance were serving more than just delicious poverty culture-producing Mexican food. Sac Mofo illustrated that people in this area are ready to embrace this “knee-jerk” “liberal” food truck “fad” with gusto.
     Now, I’ve been to Portland, Oregon many, many times. It’s a delightfully International (that’s “World Class City” everywhere else, by the way) city with lots of cool things to see and do. I’ve eaten at many food trucks and carts there, and have had some of my best meals ever. One entire downtown block is dedicated to a plethora of food trucks, and the lines I’ve experienced each and every time have been two - maybe three – people long per truck. Add to this that most of these trucks have eye-catching, though-provoking decorations all over them.
     Portland’s food trucks are “…embarrassing eyesores”? Are you fuckin’ kidding me?!? That’s a pretty brave card for anyone from Sacramento to play. I mean, lest you find chain link fences, overgrown dried-out weeds, empty parking lots, and every building here painted some shade of baby shit beige to be the zenith of beauty…
     Hayseeds like you, Mr. McCafé, make Sacramento look like the joke is. You hold steadfast to an outdated status-quo mentality that equates “World Class City” with being placid, sleepy and boring, while the rest of us try - in vain - to drag you and our town into the 21st Century. And if you doubt “World Class Cities” don’t include food trucks, just jump on your Cam Am Spyder Roadster and zip on over to San Francisco, New York, Baltimore, Chicago, Seattle, or any other actual “World Class City” and see for yourself: Food trucks are happenin’, and have been for quite a long, long time.
     (And hey, while you’re at it, read the lyrics to Green Day’s “American Idiot.” I’m guessing the band’s not huge fans of your beloved Fox News).
     At the beginning of your letter you asked, “Remember class?” (I’m assuming you mean “sophistication,” but whatever…) You, Mr. McGriddle, are unequivocally without class. You are a racist tool who uses unfounded over-exaggerations, blanket generalities and racist pap to further his cause …AND WE’RE TALKING FOOD TRUCKS HERE, FOR CHRISTSAKE!
     Mr. McCheese, why don’t you do us all a favor and quit your whining, pack up all your shit and move to Arizona, Texas or any other state in the Union that will put up with your knuckle-dragging racist ass? California’s in bad shape as it is; we don’t need you making us look even worse over here.

Bon appétit, bigot!

-Clark Nova 
Sacramento, CA